Letter of Pain

Good evening.

I really, really hate this evening. Whatever the reson is, it infuriates me. Am I to blame for every single mistake the world is making? Do I really need to suffer? Whatever. Should I kill them now? Yes, let's go kill them.

I'm blamed for everythng lost. The calculator, the earings. every single damned hell there is. And it's not my fault.

I placed my earings on the green box I've been keeping for a long time. I placed it INSIDE my bag. 'Inside' being the keyword. And so, we travelled home. And I rapidly searched my bag for it. The green box's open and the contents are scattered inside the bag. So I looked for everything. And never found it. Oh, we were not commuting home. SO, it's totally impossible for it to be stolen. And so, no one beleives me that I didn't lost it.

Now I'm being blamed for it. It was as lod as me. Now, they really love it more than me. They blame me... saying the damned line: "Dissapointed... Now i know why we shouldn't trust you. You lost that precious earing. Now what are we going to do?" Now they both hate me. 'Both' being the parents. Now I hate my family more than ever. They hate me already. So, why keep the love?

Let's try to be calm and think of the situation. They hate me, I hate them, so there's no love. So, there's no point in staying, right? So let's go global now. My family hates me, My so-called friends hate me, my love interest hates me, and the rest of the people I met hate me. So, the whole wide world hates me. The most logical thing to do is to kill them all, but the rational thing to do is to shove them off. Both being the not-so-lucky choices. That leaves me with the almighty decision of the 'final hour', or the 'last farewell'. It's 'suicide' in layman's terms. So, please let me die right now. I want to die so that I wouldn't be hurt now.

Seriously, it's my wish. If it's my birthday today, then it's my birthday wish. I couldn't care less. I have no more reason to live. Everything's already done. All I have to do is to kill myself and everything... every pain will continue in hell.

There will be regrets, yes, it's always there. But, I couldn't care less. I want no more pain. I hate everyone more than enough. Now I have reason to go all out sadistic and bit-chy. Hurt turns to hate, hate to hatred, hatred to revenge. I don't care. Just as long as I could feel better. I don't give a damn if it's selfish. Why? Should i be deprived of this little wish of mine? Oh, ok. Deprive me of my privelages, my rights, and my freedom. IT's not important anymore. I don't care if I'm damned angsty or the 'you are so down on yourself' f**k off. Don't go 'calm down' or 'don't be like that' and the likes, or I might as well add you to my killing spree. No one loves me anymore. Sad part is, I loved them... in past tense... since I now know no one can return my love.

In this cold world, you can only feel hatred and pain. No love. There is no love for someone like me. I am destined to live my life as empty as a shell and as horrible as hell. I am destined to pain. Pain is my soul, and anguish is my deathbed. Hatred is my death and vengeance is my rebirth.

Goodbye to all... those who gave me pain... Let those pain you inflicted upon me go back to you infinity fold.