A Not-So-Very White Christmas

Well, this would be the very big knockout of the century. How did I spend my white christmas without snow? Isn't white a color of a paint? Well, let's just say that my walls are painted white... still I'm spending a 'white christmas'.

Pardon me for my actions. I'm feeling very uneasy. It seems that I am sick today. I am sincerely hoping that I do not repeat the sickness in the following years. I've been having this sickness since early November, and it keeps on coming back.

Sigh. The very best way to spend Christmas was to be active, and here I am, bedridden.

Still, it won't stop me from spending my holidays 100%.

You know, I've been very concerned about my room mate. He told me he didn't went home this holiday (IOW, he's been in the room ever since the start of classes, and I could barely recall him going home). So, I'm trying my best to wish him a merry holiday. I'd do my best to make him smile when I return. I feel sad for him... though I don't really know why he decided to stay.

Anyway, a Joyful Holiday to you all!

It's the Cupid's Fault, like always.

Well, hopefully this post would not be about me. That is saying much, I can promise you.

Anyway, just recently I have witnessed a close friend of mine having the heartbreak of the century (well, the recent one... since I don't keep track of his lovelife... Like it matters to me). To make my feelings summarized, I was both sad and pissed. Sad because he's going through a rough time. Pissed since I can't understand his exact situation (because whenever I hear things, I hear the complete opposite a while later).

He said that he's not 'bitter', per se, but in reality I do not think so. I mean, if you don't give a damn, why cry? Of course there were times that I cried, but that was a year ago. I haven't cried about love in like... a century ago or something. I could joke around my lovelife like it's nothing, but in reality it means a whole lot to me. I just know how to deal with it.

...And I think he [my friend] doesn't know how to deal with it 'exactly'.

After the tearful session (and I wasn't included in the tears... yay), he was cursing like hell. I say with certainty that this is not the first time I have heard him cuss like that. Still doesn't make me feel any safe... though I could defend myself, I just don't want to (any offering of comfort and security are severely welcomed. Just apply to me, and we'll see.) I don't really think it is normal to be destructive when you feel depressed about love. I positively think that one should be fine with sulking. Sulking is a passive, non-destructive way to deal with problems... and cussing is a passive, semi-destructive way to deal with problems. Then there's the ultimatum: Massacre is an active, ultra-destructive way to deal with problems... and torture would just be the icing on the cake.

Enough with the cake... it makes me so hungry.

At least after that event, I haven't heard him talking about it. As if it matters to me. It does, but I don't try to mingle with the problems, especially in depressions. I'd most probably say "Come, let's do a slashaton. I'll get the chainsaw. Choose your weapon!"

So let's go to my problem. Is it just me, or Cupid hates me like I hate worms, which is saying a lot? I mean, people say that those I love are commonly unreachable. I don't know... did it become a prerequisite for me to love? I cannot say. So what if it makes me the north pole to my beloved south pole? So what if the galaxy's not the only space between us? I don't care. I've already binded myself with one person, even if that person does not give a damn. At least we have a thing in common. It just makes me think of one long line in a story I read:

"You're scared, but I'll be here for you. Please, let me be the one to hold your
hand through the way. Let me be the one to stand by your side through the good
and the bad. Through the hard times and good times, I'll never abandon you. I
know there is little that I can offer you... since I know you hate me. It must
be irritating to have to see the one you hate so much each and every day, and if
you want, I'll even make it so that you won't have to see my face. You won't
have to hear my voice. But I'll stay close by, guarding you like an angel. You
can yell at me, and scold me all you want if it helps you. You can continue to
scream the hurtful and painful words to me until there is nothing left to say. I
stay. I'll listen. I won't talk back. I'll be like a good and obedient dog
tending to my master. Tell me you want to see me struck by lightening. Tell me
that you want to see me freeze under the cold snow. Tell me you want to see me
whipped until blood drips from my mouth. Tell me that you wish someone would run
me over with a car... with a bus... with a truck. Tell me that you want to shoot
me with a gun. Tell me that you want to pierce my heart with a stake while I
sleep. I'll love it if it's all that you could say to me. It'll be all that you
have to say to me. You don't have to say anything nice to me. You can say
whatever you like, and I'll make it all that I need to hear. I won't cry... I
won't throw you out. I'll take it. I'll live through all of it. Chastise me with
words of hate, and I'll make you everything that I have. You will be my whole
world, my cruel paradise of anguish and pain. Just as long as you are near by,
I'll be fine. Break me with words that would tear a wild stallion to pieces.
Stay with me. I'll worship you until the day God judges the world. You will be
all that I have."

See? It's really long. It's also meaningful, right? Quite summarizes what I want to say.

Hope you enjoy reading my post. Till next time :D

Sai's Business Unusual

Hah, the title's a pun, actually.

Anyway, yesterday I have set up my business. I plan on offering computer-related services. I got my first job yesterday. It was fun to do so, actually, though painstaking.

I hope I get more the following year.

A Fated Meeting

I was sleeping so soundly when I felt something resting on me. I slowly opened my eyes to see my dad put my things on my stomach. I said, "What the hell?" He just shrugged and said, "Your grandmother's outside. Go greet her." And so I did.

After greeting her, I ate some noodles. We then went to Max's (It's a restaurant) and went to see my cousin for the first time.

Well, I was a little shocked, though. I mean, he's supposed to be Canadian and all (well, he does have the white skin and semi-blond hair and all), but he doesn't look like much. Just a common foreigner. He wasn't even that talkative! I was having a hard time dealing with him because I'm not used to meet new people... although he's literally my cousin.

Anyway, after that, I went home, and they went their own way. Sadly, I haven't been able to interact with my cousin. Sigh. I was expecting to get along well.

Finally!

So finally I have chosen what blog to use as my, well, blog. I resorted to Blogger. Haha. I didn't actually expect myself to use this. At any case, it's already there, so there.

I'm going to import my other posts from my old blogs and post it here. Hopefully I would be able to clean up this blog. Thanks for that.

Anyway, please do visit my site. Here's the link:

http://shiningriver.cwahi.net

Be sure to check it out, okay?

I Dreamt again

I do not know if I would be happy or not because of this dream... Seriously.

This morning I woke up from a dream. I dreamt of him (him being my highschool classmate) and I in a room. Well, I was talking about something I was holding (which I vaguely remember, but I was sure it was black and something debatable). I recall talking about it and then he went beside me to take a look. THen I point something on that thing to him, and told him some things. THen, he moved close (at this point, my head is leaning on his shoulders due to the closeness), and so he talks his opinion. We then had a lengthy discussion of which I don't really remember much.

Pity, really.

The point is, I am happy that at least in that dream, we were able to be close... well, at least that close. Too bad it was just a dream. If it weren't, I'd be the happiest person on earth.

Why is that?

Simple. Because the person I love, who so happens to be the one in my dream, is the person that is farthest from me. It pains me gravely. It is like cancer - silent yet you know it will eventually kill you if left uncured. In my case, my cure is his love, which I am still deprived off.

Curse the Damned Old Princess

A few days ago I was riding a jeep back to my dormitory. The trip in that jeep is an excruciating hour. I promise you that. Well, only a quarter of my butt was touching the edge of the seat, meaning I'm in a squat position. There's enough space for me to sit properly if that damn old hag would just give it. She said, "I cannot move. My [grandchild]'s leaning over the window, and he needs some space." Really now? Is he that special? What kingdom are you from? Last time I checked you don't pay for your comfort, you only pay for your seat.

I was cursing the whole hour. I was glaring at her when she had the chance to look at me.

And it doesn't stop there.

When there was enough space, she placed her big bag on the seats, forcing the girl to move seats.

Prima Donna much?

I hate her to the last of my nerves. I know you would, too.

Devil May Cry 4

Devil May Cry 4

[box-art]:
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y101/Carbonox_ratchet/DevilMayCry4Boxart.jpg


This is a very good game, not to mention exciting and blood-rushing. I managed to install this game on my PC and finish it in one day (Beleive it!). Although I haven't updated my videocard to match the game's specs... nonetheless it runs fine.

I'll post my save game here sometime.

Wet Beneath the Storm

Yeah, as the title says, I'm very much wet. I managed to save my laptop, though.

As for last week, I am in such pain. Yeah, I'm in pain because of my finals. I could barely walk. And now, I could barely get dry.

Damn rain.

Yeah, curse the rain. Especially when it drags you beneath it. But, whenever it is beautiful it is a blessing. Yeah, it becomes a curse only when it destroys.

Well, anyway, I'm using my time right now in class to dry my feet. Ja ne.

Romeo X Juliet

Uhhh, no, it's not porn.

Anyway, I'm just watching this anime right now. I started last night, and is still watching it now (I have life. I leave when necessity arises). It's a very romantic anime (gave me hours of angst and lovey-doo blahdah).

One thing's for sure; this is damn better attention-grabbing than the ole' Romeo and Juliet story that's full of 'art' and 'thou'.

If you need to know more, you can check out en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RomeoXJuliet (i hope the URL's correct). Unfortunately I have no pics or anything.

Please watch it! :D

from http://www.sparknotes.com/shakespeare/romeojuliet/summary.html :

Plot Overview
In the streets of Verona another brawl breaks out between the
servants of the feuding noble families of Capulet
and Montague. Benvolio,
a Montague, tries to stop the fighting, but is himself embroiled when the rash
Capulet, Tybalt,
arrives on the scene. After citizens outraged by the constant violence beat back
the warring factions, Prince
Escalus, the ruler of Verona, attempts to prevent any further conflicts
between the families by decreeing death for any individual who disturbs the
peace in the future.


Romeo,
the son of Montague, runs into his cousin Benvolio, who had earlier seen Romeo
moping in a grove of sycamores. After some prodding by Benvolio, Romeo confides
that he is in love with Rosaline,
a woman who does not return his affections. Benvolio counsels him to forget this
woman and find another, more beautiful one, but Romeo remains
despondent.
Meanwhile, Paris,
a kinsman of the Prince, seeks Juliet’s
hand in marriage. Her father Capulet, though happy at the match, asks Paris to
wait two years, since Juliet is not yet even fourteen. Capulet dispatches a
servant with a list of people to invite to a masquerade and feast he
traditionally holds. He invites Paris to the feast, hoping that Paris will begin
to win Juliet’s heart.
Romeo and Benvolio, still discussing Rosaline,
encounter the Capulet servant bearing the list of invitations. Benvolio suggests
that they attend, since that will allow Romeo to compare his beloved to other
beautiful women of Verona. Romeo agrees to go with Benvolio to the feast, but
only because Rosaline, whose name he reads on the list, will be there.
In
Capulet’s household, young Juliet talks with her mother, Lady
Capulet, and her nurse about the possibility of marrying Paris. Juliet has
not yet considered marriage, but agrees to look at Paris during the feast to see
if she thinks she could fall in love with him.
The feast begins. A melancholy
Romeo follows Benvolio and their witty friend Mercutio
to Capulet’s house. Once inside, Romeo sees Juliet from a distance and instantly
falls in love with her; he forgets about Rosaline completely. As Romeo watches
Juliet, entranced, a young Capulet, Tybalt, recognizes him, and is enraged that
a Montague would sneak into a Capulet feast. He prepares to attack, but Capulet
holds him back. Soon, Romeo speaks to Juliet, and the two experience a profound
attraction. They kiss, not even knowing each other’s names. When he finds out
from Juliet’s nurse that she is the daughter of Capulet—his family’s enemy—he
becomes distraught. When Juliet learns that the young man she has just kissed is
the son of Montague, she grows equally upset.


As
Mercutio and Benvolio leave the Capulet estate, Romeo leaps over the orchard
wall into the garden, unable to leave Juliet behind. From his hiding place, he
sees Juliet in a window above the orchard and hears her speak his name. He calls
out to her, and they exchange vows of love.
Romeo hurries to see his friend
and confessor Friar
Lawrence, who, though shocked at the sudden turn of Romeo’s heart, agrees to
marry the young lovers in secret since he sees in their love the possibility of
ending the age-old feud between Capulet and Montague. The following day, Romeo
and Juliet meet at Friar Lawrence’s cell and are married. The
Nurse, who is privy to the secret, procures a ladder, which Romeo will use
to climb into Juliet’s window for their wedding night.
The next day, Benvolio
and Mercutio encounter Tybalt—Juliet’s cousin—who, still enraged that Romeo
attended Capulet’s feast, has challenged Romeo to a duel. Romeo appears. Now
Tybalt’s kinsman by marriage, Romeo begs the Capulet to hold off the duel until
he understands why Romeo does not want to fight. Disgusted with this plea for
peace, Mercutio says that he will fight Tybalt himself. The two begin to duel.
Romeo tries to stop them by leaping between the combatants. Tybalt stabs
Mercutio under Romeo’s arm, and Mercutio dies. Romeo, in a rage, kills Tybalt.
Romeo flees from the scene. Soon after, the Prince declares him forever banished
from Verona for his crime. Friar Lawrence arranges for Romeo to spend his
wedding night with Juliet before he has to leave for Mantua the following
morning.
In her room, Juliet awaits the arrival of her new husband. The Nurse
enters, and, after some confusion, tells Juliet that Romeo has killed Tybalt.
Distraught, Juliet suddenly finds herself married to a man who has killed her
kinsman. But she resettles herself, and realizes that her duty belongs with her
love: to Romeo.
Romeo sneaks into Juliet’s room that night, and at last they
consummate their marriage and their love. Morning comes, and the lovers bid
farewell, unsure when they will see each other again. Juliet learns that her
father, affected by the recent events, now intends for her to marry Paris in
just three days. Unsure of how to proceed—unable to reveal to her parents that
she is married to Romeo, but unwilling to marry Paris now that she is Romeo’s
wife—Juliet asks her Nurse for advice. She counsels Juliet to proceed as if
Romeo were dead and to marry Paris, who is a better match anyway. Disgusted with
the Nurse’s disloyalty, Juliet disregards her advice and hurries to Friar
Lawrence. He concocts a plan to reunite Juliet with Romeo in Mantua. The night
before her wedding to Paris, Juliet must drink a potion that will make her
appear to be dead. After she is laid to rest in the family’s crypt, the Friar
and Romeo will secretly retrieve her, and she will be free to live with Romeo,
away from their parents’ feuding.
Juliet returns home to discover the wedding
has been moved ahead one day, and she is to be married tomorrow. That night,
Juliet drinks the potion, and the Nurse discovers her, apparently dead, the next
morning. The Capulets grieve, and Juliet is entombed according to plan. But
Friar Lawrence’s message explaining the plan to Romeo never reaches Mantua. Its
bearer, Friar
John, gets confined to a quarantined house. Romeo hears only that Juliet is
dead.
Romeo learns only of Juliet’s death and decides to kill himself rather
than live without her. He buys a vial of poison from a reluctant Apothecary,
then speeds back to Verona to take his own life at Juliet’s tomb. Outside the
Capulet crypt, Romeo comes upon Paris, who is scattering flowers on Juliet’s
grave. They fight, and Romeo kills Paris. He enters the tomb, sees Juliet’s
inanimate body, drinks the poison, and dies by her side. Just then, Friar
Lawrence enters and realizes that Romeo has killed Paris and himself. At the
same time, Juliet awakes. Friar Lawrence hears the coming of the watch. When
Juliet refuses to leave with him, he flees alone. Juliet sees her beloved Romeo
and realizes he has killed himself with poison. She kisses his poisoned lips,
and when that does not kill her, buries his dagger in her chest, falling dead
upon his body.
The watch arrives, followed closely by the Prince, the
Capulets, and Montague. Montague declares that Lady
Montague has died of grief over Romeo’s exile. Seeing their children’s
bodies, Capulet and Montague agree to end their long-standing feud and to raise
gold statues of their children side-by-side in a newly peaceful Verona.

Oh Life!

Damn, so hot today.

I'm feeling a little bit down today. You want to know why? It's because I'm very troubled by one subject I'm going to get in the near future... and I know it's not going to be easy.

I'm also tired, since, well I didn't have any classes this week. It's very troublesome, though.

I'm making my posts today short, since, well, I'm very tired. Night.

Ciao.

OMGFROTFLOL!!!

Oh my GOd.... I just watched a funny Naruto flash movie on youtube, and It just cracked the hell out of me.

My first week is officially retarded... I'm out.

The Enrollment Aftermath

Well, remember when I said that I would most probably suffer tremendous amounts of pain and anguish tomorrow? It seems that my expectations fail to reach mine. Do you want to know why? It is because I have just successfully enrolled myself. Although I am on probation, I am happy that I am able to continue my studies and further improve myself.

The dillemma, however, doesn't end there. It is just beginning.

Not only would I have to worry about the whole semester itself, I would have to worry about my health (which would constitute almost all of my time) plus my entertainment (Damn it all if I won't get any), and the academics.

I'm too tired to continue writing, actually... so I'll sign off early.

Shining River Revisited

I've been gone for around 2 weeks. Sorry. I've been really busy these past few days. Also, I am in very deep shit right now. I'm under probation in my university, since I've been delinquent lately because of my inability to sleep (thus sending my brain and mental functions to a state of calamity).

Nonetheless, I'm going tomorrow just to beg my college dean to let me enroll (I think she would... it's probably in the rules). So, I'm taking my chances that I could enroll with at least 9 units... Please pray for my sake.

Anyway, I've been writing a fanfiction of Naruto (obviously a yaoi M one) since I was bored. Yes, despite me being busy I am bored. You can check it out on www.fanfiction.net and search for me, "Sai Hikawa" as the author. You'll find two stories, "Ice and Snow" and "Merry Christmas" Obviously it would be the "Merry Christmas" since it has a label that says "Naruto".

Anyway, I've also been indulging myself with yaoi lately. Dunno why. But I'm not doing this for entertainment, though. I'm going to use it as frameworks for drawing. Na-uh, they're not plagiarism, it's called practice. I'm not going to copy and steal them, it's not my style. I would just get some ideas then do my own.

At any case, feel free to drop by and drop comments every now and then... I'm feeling very lonely right now.

What is the World Becoming Into?

What is the World Becoming Into?

I can't believe I'm writing anything remotely to politics or even remotely close to public affairs. Still, I can't help to be aggravated by such idiosyncrasies displayed on air.

First off I would warn anyone who would read this. I'm warning you that in this post contains a lot of rants that are constantly flying freely inside my head. I'm just pouring all of it on paper... internet (whatever). Whatever I'm writing, do please understand that I'm not in the most stable of minds here. Saying that I'm very, very pissed would be an understatement.

Now let's begin, shall we?

I just watched the news earlier tonight. I am not surprised, however, to see things on the news. Rather, I'm very much expecting this.

The thing is, I can't believe how idiotic and chaotic the world is becoming to. I can't believe how utterly stupid people are becoming. I can't believe I'm also a human being.

Look everywhere around you. Isn't the weather A LOT extreme than it used to just a few years ago? Why is that? Assuming you have never watched Al Gore's campaign on Global Warming, I'd say it's a simple problem. It is a problem which us humans caused - global warming. I'm not saying that it is stoppable, it probably isn't. But judging from the current situation I'm betting that it's all the human population's fault. Why? Would you expect that anyone's laziness and lack of care for their environment (even their own environment) would eventually turn out good? Absolutely no. I myself couldn't expect a Mango tree to blossom after throwing a candy wrapper on some fertile ground. ON that note, I also don't expect trees to grow as fast as it is cut down. I also don't expect the air to be less darker than it was 10 years ago.

THe point is, it is the people who are doing this to themselves, even indirectly. Come on! Do not expect a flood on middle lands (remotely no large body of water anywhere) out of the blue, even if it rains heavily! There's the sewage system for that matter. BUt, since the sewers are blocked by everybody's trash, the water then has no way to exit itself, thus creating destructive flood. The idiotic part of this is that, you could've saved a town, thousands of lives, millions worth of damage, and probably your sanity, if you would have prevented the said calamity by disposing your garbage properly. And yes, I mean you must put your garbage INSIDE the garbage bag. If it's full, find another. DO not leave it outside the garbage bag/can. The wind will most probably blow it over, making your efforts in vain.

On that note, I would like to use this opportunity to point out that even canals are dirty. Yes, I suppose that canal water is really dirty... but I do not think it should be that dirty. I mean, look at it? SHould it look all... thick and black? Maybe with a lot of plastic and other things floating along it? Would you imagine that a clean river would eventually turn into that? Disgusting. What's even more disgusting is the fact that the very same water goes through a sewage treatment plant, which would most probably clean it, then goes to your household. Would you also imagine that the water you drink, bathe with, wash the dishes with, and anything else, would come from the very same water? Personally, I wouldn't drink it. Even if it's clean, I don't give a damn. Now, we would most probably feel a lot better if, in the first place, that said body of water is clean and potable. That would have given the sewage treatment plants much less work and much less money to operate.

The news then moved to an issue about Meralco having some deficits (at least, that's what I think). You know what I think? Money hording. I mean, it's your company's loss, what are the customers supposed to do about it? The customer's job is to pay what they used, and the company's job is to provide service, not problems. I do not think it is anymore a business to charge them on something in which they have nothing to do with. I mean, why charge me if it's your own fault? Charge me, I sue you. You can't possible make us pay on your demerits. WE are not saints, nor we are good samaritans. I am not willing to pay on something that is not caused by me.

I also watched the news about politicians. Are they campaigning early? That is a good question. We may or may not know. I do not even know how and why those people on TV are saying those lines, but trust me, those statements are their own opinions, which is best left unproven of truth values. For all we know, they (the senators) are doing this for the hell of it, or just for the sake of campaigning, or even just for public service. They may be senators, but that doesn't stop them from serving the public. But, we cannot neglect the possiblity (yes, and it is not a fact, since it is not proven completely true) that they may be campaigning. I mean, anyone would find billboards of politicians highly dubious.

That's all for now. I'm actually getting more and more angry by the minute, so I'll stop now before I completely destroy my laptop.

Ciao.

A New Beginning

Finally I had the urge to create a new blog. This is my third already. My last one was closed a year ago. Now I'm making another one since I'm bored. Well, that, and I want everyone to know who I am.

I've found blogging to be an interesting way of getting others to know you. Don't misunderstood - I'm not doing this just to gain popularity. I'm doing this out of fun, which I eventually hope that people would come and enjoy the things I do.

Maybe for now, I'd post some of my stories. That, or do some things. I dunno. Maybe I could learn a few things every now and then, then tell you guys.


Ciao for now.