The commercial

Good Evening.

These past few days, I have been asking myself. I have been doing some self-evaluation for some time, and asking myself questions that are somewhat silly, in a way. But, who really cares, right? No one would be able to comprehend's ones thought other than oneself, right? Or, is it just a mere generalization that I alone understand?

In any way, I have tried some silly tests. First of which was the 'destiny' test. I believe that destiny is inevitable but foreign. Why is it so? It is inevitable because we cannot envision the future [well, I can, but I can't go as far as a year or so, and I can't do it often], and we cannot change what are yet to come. It is foreign since it is not tangible by our own hands, and cannot be twisted in any way a man could do. Quite a mystery, isn't it? But whatever destiny is, I believe that everyone's destiny is unique on its own, and everyone has their own special path to take, although there will be times that the roads would intersect, nonetheless we are still taking our own paths, even if it by free will or not.

Well, let's go to the test, shall we? Here's what I got:

Sai, your destiny is to be a Protector
 Whether you know it or not, this is the role that is most in tune with who you are at your core. As a Protector, you have an exceptional gift for guiding and comforting others when no one else is willing or able because you actually feel their pain as if it were your own. If you could insulate those you love from all hardship, you would consider that your greatest accomplishment. You offer caring and thoughtful advice that helps others heal and move in a positive direction, but you don't call attention to yourself, choosing rather to selflessly give to others in order to make the world a better place. This sense of duty and exceptional work ethic will get you far in life, however, it can lead to frustration when you don't get the appreciation you deserve. Remember to take care of yourself because if you feel good others will feel reassured by your steady, prudent, and methodical ways, and the world really will be a better place!

When I saw my result, I was utmost shocked. Well, for once I thought about it, yeah, that pretty much defines who I am. I do not know why, but I just had this feeling inside me that goes all so righteous and protective. When a friend of mine feels down, I try to help. Even if it means me bit-ching out. In addition to that, I feel really, really sick when I can't help my friends. It makes me want to kill myself for being helpless. I sometimes wish that all their burden, their sorrows, their pain and anguish; I wish I could carry them all in my back, adding them in my collection. I wish I could do that, but I couldn't and they wouldn't let me. Even if it's stupid, and martyr, I don't care. It's my choice. It's the only way I know how to live, and I can't change that fact.

So the next time you see me sad, I do hope I could go see the light, because it's an usual occurence to me. I'm always sad. I can't help but fret every now and then, because I have never felt 'real' happiness. I always failed at whatever I have attempted to do. I failed, but never quitted. I was too stubborn to quit, because I know that's the only way I would really, really lose. I haven't submitted myself into losing, and I know I am powerful enough to win. I think it's in my blood [my spanish blood] that boils up whenever someone tries to go up against me. Well, I don't like rude people [I won't name names now, because it'll be absurd at this point in time], and I don't like people who rudely ignore me. I also don't like people staring at me for no reason. I know I'm beautiful and all [yes, and it's a fact. No wonder why those people try to hit on me, plus the fact that they address me as "ate" and "kuya" in some point of the day... freaky, but it's something funny], but it's really rude and disturbing to stare [I could forgive you if you're cute, but if you're not, then no].

Well, I have to admit that I love things cute and pretty. Does that make me a pedophile? Well, my friends say that I am one, but I haven't really had any emotional attachments with those of younger age. I just like cute and pretty things. I really don't enjoy having those mushy stuff, but I like it when the whole thing's appealing and cute. That's why I really don't care what genre of anime I am watching, as long as it's either enjoyable, funny, or cute.

Oh, I'm slipping down so far, right? I must've been on the second block by now, and I haven't even noticed it yet!

Now, let's go to the real world. I opened my YM yesterday, and no one bothered saying hello, well, except for Ms. Gaea, whom I really liked [liked = friendly liked. No green thoughts], because of her exceptional thoughts. At least I know there's someone I could relate [and converse] to. Other than that, I am a little infuriated by the fact that no one even bothered saying hello. I know everyone's busy right now, but still... I'm trying to give an effort of greeting them. That's why right now, I rudely ignored everyone in my YM because I've been so rudely ignored, not that it matters now.

To make matters worse for the day, I was sermoned out of the blue. Here I am, drawing and writting something in front of the computer, when all of the sudden mom stood up and called my attention, preaching me about stuff that concerns me dropping my grades and such. My mom's a freaky paranoid, because I ALWAYS am serious when studying. I DON'T like getting low grades, and how the hell would I get a dropping grade if I barely move my attention from my studies? The only way that could happen is when I have a very sadistic teacher [which I doubt would happen], or if my transcript is lost, and was replaced with some random delinquent. Poor me. I would've destroyed UP by then.

At any rate, I would like to apologize to everyone for making your lives a living hell because of my violence. I cannot promise you that I'll remove that, because it's part of me [it's a BIG part of me] and it's really, really uncontrolable. It's mood swings, friends, MOOD SWINGS! I mean, even pregnant women have it. But I'm not pregnant. I'm still a virgin, the last time I checked. Wait... pretend I didn't write this paragraph.

Till then, I will write more about my journeys. I do hope from my dark start, I would end up at the lighter end. Thank you for listening and joining me on my journey.

Oh, before I forgot, please check the latest commercial of Coca Cola here, and look at the guy there. The guy looks exactly like the boy mentioned in my previous entry, add some pimples, and lengthen the hair... straight emo style. There you have him.

You can download it  at http://www.coca-cola.com/template1/index.jsp?locale=en_PH&site=../downloads/downloads.html .