My Dreams... would come true?

Good Morning.

Ever wondered why we have dreams? Well, for sure you have asked the question, but I am still unsure if you have. Even so, I do not want to know. However, I want to know why dreams are there, and so I intend to find out.

I beleive dreams can be either pleasant, weird, or dreadful. I have experienced those kind of dreams, and I haven't flinched, well, except for one. I do not plan on sharing that dream right now, because I already did shared it.

However, there is one dream I would like to share. It was a dream I had earlier today. It feels kind of weird to have your dreams in the morning, but, hey, everyone's weird in their own little way.

I was there at the familiar room back in high school. I felt sick, because I remembered the old times, the times I had to live through that hell hole disguised as a school. It was morning, so I can tell my position. I was near the door, and the others were all around me... well, not literally 'around me', but to my right and to my front [because I was at the lower left. The last seat], there were a lot of people [a lot, because we were 29 in class].

The point is, we had this game. Well, one was supposed to sit at the center front and everyone's going to say something positive and something negative about the person. For example, I would like to say, for the positive side, that you are a kind person, and is willing to give anything for those who really need it. On the negative, however, your mood swings are really, really violent.

And so, it was my turn. I wasn't nervous or anything. I was a cold-hearted human being, so what could possibly go wrong? Not that I cold think of any. Well, I went to the seat, and sat down. I looked at them intentively as they ask every question. I answered them with confidence and with fury, knowing that every answer is full of confidence and honesty. I answered intelligently, as I voice out my opinion. Well, my logic was at work there. I'm not that kind anymore. I might've ignored those protests before, but not now. Since nothing binds me from you, there is no reason for me to hold back to my own strength.

And so they asked me. "Why are you so distant to us?" I can't remember what question number was that, but it didn't matter to me. I would just answer questions anyway. "Since I could remember until I turned 16, I was always at my room. I was never allowed to go out, or if I could, I couldn't get out of my own home. I was always alone, well, not literally alone because I still have family, but still, there was 'me' and there was 'us'. The 'us' being one family, and 'me' being me inside that room. Not that I was complaining, but I learned everything I had to learn there, from books. Well, there was something I haven't learned, and it was my lack of childhood activities. I haven't had a decent childhood experience, and I think you know why. I wasn't socially aware... well, because I was inside that room. Now you know why I am so distant, because it's the only way I know how to live."

And there's this girl I despise so much. She thinks she's so great, so beautiful, well my feet's more beautiful than you, and my ass's whiter than your whole body. "Are you gay?" Haha, that's a very, very nice question. "I am not. I'm sure you do not accept my answer, but I am not gay, in any way."

And a follow-up question, "then why do you act like one?" I do not act like one. Stupid bitch, thinks she knows everything... check your ass, you might have something dark there. Oh, it was your face... I'm sorry for the misconception. It looks exactly the same. "I do not act like one. I was raised femininely, treated more of a daughter than a son. You can't blame my parents, or me for that. Did I have the right to choose my parents, let alone my destiny? Was it wrong for a parent to raise his/her child the way he/she wants to? Of course not. In their eyes, what they're doing is right, and you are in no position to say that they are wrong. We all have our own definition of 'right' and 'wrong' and your 'right' might not be the 'right' for them, and vice versa. Thus, there is conflict, but when we acknowledge each other's 'right', then we would achieve understanding and peace. Again, I do not act like one, but I am raised femininely. Ever saw my baby pictures? I wear a girl's dress."

And there was a long silence. They haven't expected me to talk so... brave and bold. What? Do I have no right to change who I am? Well, I didn't but still, I kept myself silent for so long, and now's the right time to unleash my fury.

It was his turn to ask, the one who gave me pain beyond recognition. He was hesitant to ask, but still, he asked, "Do you have someone whom you hate?"
"If you imply as to I hate you, no. I could never stay angry at you, and I do not know why. But, if there's someone I really loath, it would be the ebonic bitch over there." I smirked evilly, "Yeah, I despise you for making my life a living hell for 2 years. You add more hell than what was happening to me for 2 years. The last 2 years of my life was spent in silence because I want to explode in rage and can't control what would happen. I was thinking of ripping your spine off, letting you bleed to death while I pin your lips shut, but that would be so quick." And so, the question and answer portion of the show ends there.

As the next person goes and replace me in my seat, I sat down quietly at my original seat. When everyone's attention was drawn to the person on the chair, I slipped out quietly. I walked quietly to the stairs, which was far from the classroom. It was quiet there, and amazingly refreshing. The air blows so fine there. I sat down there and weeped quietly. even if there was no one around, I kept my tears silent and hidden. But, I was so rudely interrupted when I felt that there were arms wrapped around me. I tried to look at where those arms come from, and from whom. To my surprise, it was him. I could only confirm it in the corner of my eye, because he couldn't let me know who he was. That was stupid, because I could recognize the voice. "I have a question I haven't asked you yet..." Ok, this is getting a bit awkward. "... Do you...really... love me?" Of course I do, how else could I take all the pain and never die? "I really, really do." I answered quickly, but with full honesty. It didn't matter if he would reject me or not, I knew it would happen eventually. "I'm really sorry if you suffered because of me. I was just shocked when I found out your feelings... I just hope everything's not too late for me to ask forgiveness."

"I haven't considered your actions as something offensive. As I've said earlier, I could never stay angry at you. I do not know why, and I probably won't find out. But, if worse things happen, I could only tell you what I feel, and I do not hope for any feelings returned, because I would only hurt myself. Nonetheless, I won't return anymore. I'll leave your lives, never to appear again."

"Why so?"

"Because..." Please don't make this harder, "... the pain everyone inflicted on me was really, really painful, but the pain you alone inflicted nearly killed me, still, I wasn't angry." I walked down the stairs. He called my name to stop me. "PLease, don't go. Everyone's waiting for you."

"I really, really doubt that." I continued my walk until I reached home, which was very far from the school.

-|-o0o-|-

The next thing I knew I was lying on the hospital bed. There was my nurse. I didn't give a damn what she looked like, because what concerns me is why I'm here. It seems that I was suffering from blood loss, internal hemorhage, several bruises, broken bones, and some grotesque symptoms. I asked my nurse if there were visitors, and she said that there was none yet because it was just 5 hours ago that I was sent here and it was nearly the period where I had my operation. It was lucky that I was able to wake up right after the operations.

There was a knock on the door. Every one of them entered, and soon I found out it was some of my classmates. Heh, concerned? You have to wait before something happened to me before you show symphaty... typical. Asking forgiveness to someone dying hoping that they won't resent you right after their inevitable death. But I will, I'll vengefully resent that ebonic bitch until her final hour. Too bad your life's not worth it... maybe your afterlife?

There were visitors, few of my classmates. Mostly those who have I learned to be with for alsmot a year. Lucky. Finally, everyone left except him. He was asking forgiveness, and I had to say that he did no wrong. It was only a typical reaction, and I can't blame him for being that way. Have I told anyone I love him that much? No? Then you must've missed it.

And because he grew up with strong religious morals and values, homosexuality in itself was not seen as something completely sinful. No, it was more like the single action of intercourse. Intercourse was seen as something only used to bring forth life. Not as something to benefit one's own satisfaction. So, didn't that mean that even heterosexuals having sex were doing something just as sinful? How about married couples that were infertile? Was this action also considered sinful? Even if they were heterosexuals? But then again, the church is very reserved. It was the twenty first century for crying out loud! People didn't marry just because they wanted to have children. Some marred for love, for money, for companionship, or for financial support. Some married couples even hate the thought of children. So, why could homosexuals not get married? Probably because they cannot bring about life. But they can adopt. What's wrong with two men or two women adopting? They can be just as loving as any parent, right? Of course there may be cases where the child may grow up abused, but there are also many children who have abusive heterosexual parents. The world was getting over crowed already with all those people who want to have huge families. More homosexuals are just what everyone needs. So they can adopt those children who have lost their parents.

 
But that was another issue. In many cases, homosexual couples aren't allowed to adopt. People are afraid that the child may grow up confused, and turn out to be gay/lesbian. But face it. Homosexuals are born from heterosexuals. A child can grow up living with straight parents, but when they realize that they are different from everyone else because they are looking at the same gender, then they become confused regardless. It's a never ending debate.