Hate the Neighborhood

Good Evening.

I think it's quite early for me to write this, but I suddenly felt the urge to write an entry at this point in time. I know it's not customary to write two entries per day, but it's my diary and I have my rights and privilages, right?

Anyway, nothing much had happened today, except for the fact that I waged war against my mother not allowing me to go outside the house, i mean, it's totally absurd to keep me inside the house when my little brother can go as free as the wind. He even looks a lot less like a brother to me, due to the darkened skin tone. We are like vanilla and creamed coffee, him being the coffee.

Enough with my brother, he's not the point at the moment. The point is that my mother didn't allow me to go out. Indirectly, of course. I always wanted to go out of this hellhole. My neighbors are as bad as delinquents. Maybe pederasts are way better, at the least. At least pederasts don't care if you pass by, unlike those neighbors of mine that do nothing but stare at the awesome beauty walking in front of them, yours trully. As quoted from my Kai Hiwatari, "They are filthy and unworthy of my presense". God, I remembered those lines from a story I read.

About the readings... There's still 74 more books to finish... I hope it can last until the end of summer, coz I'm bored to my wits. I do not know why the heat disturbs me so much, but I don't care. It's upright disturbing and I can't help but be angry at all times.

Well, I've been having dreams about... well... rape. Imagine yourself having dreams of you being raped... for like a week or three now. Isn't it scary? Actually, it wasn't scary, or so I thought it would. It wasn't brutal, but the fact that you are raped with love is well, fun.

Anyway, I'm having this visions of me killing everybody. Well, for once that would make my life easier because I have no more to kill, but the fact that I would be alone hurts. Don't you ever feel like you're rudely ignored? Well, I have been rudely ignored for so long. It's one of the things that infuriates me to the max. Oh, you have no idea how scary I could be when I'm angry. I'll give you a sneak peak... I impaled a ballpen on my classmate's leg when I was in grade 1. Scary, no?

Good thing this diary keeps me busy... At least it listens... though it does not give me the advice I need for the day. Well, life's unfair sometimes.

Till then... I'll learn something on the way, and I do hope someone would stop by and listen to what I have to teach.