Unhappy, starting now.

Earlier this morning I have felt a very serious wave of unlucky-ness that I had hopefully asked for my feeling to be wrong. Even though yesterday was supposed to be my birthday, it did not excused me for the colossal holocaust that was bound to happen to this day forward.
Needless to say that it did not make me any happier than I am, and that is saying a lot.
I do not know why, but I feel this strong intuition that there is someone out there, someone close, that is always at beck and call whenever there is a need to prove me wrong, even if it is fucking 100% right. Even if I'm supposed to not-give-a-damn or disprove their "trying to disprove me" theory, I just keep myself quiet and let them feel their false victory. I mean, you can't blame me if I can control my emotions. You cannot blame me if I'm so forgiving.
Wrong.
I'm very unforgiving, I'm very vengeful, I'm very sadistic, and as a sugar-coated cherry on the top of the ice cream, I'm downright evil. I'm just coating it with a silent face. Maybe you could say that I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing. Well, I don't care.
I don't know if I'm able to keep this facade any longer. If I'm not so considerate of others feelings I would've dealt with it the old way - removing them from the face of the earth without any emotions attached. I could still remember the day when I impaled a pen on my class mate's leg, and that was when I was six years old.
Hah, sweet memories.
From now on, I shall keep my emotions at bay. Why? Because I am sure that whatever my reactions about to and for people would instantly send them to thinking. As if I care.
Yeah, I do care. I cry everyday about it.
Pfft. As if. I haven't cried in two years.
Surely an egoistical, self-centered, know-it-all elitist-ish being would fathom what he/she thinks he/she could swallow, even if you end up eating other's portion, or choking out yourself.
A big sigh please? Thank you.